Be your own cheerleader

I don’t talk about my cheerleading days with many, but they existed back in 6th grade. We wore green polyester skirts and gold vests emblazoned with three embroidered letters in green: SAS for Saint Ann’s School. In the fall I stood with my friends and fellow cheerleaders rooting from the sidelines of a football game and in the winter, we yelled for the boys on the basketball team to “fire it up!” on the court.

I don’t remember having any grand aspirations to become a cheerleader. I wanted to hang out with my friends, but that one glimpse into the life of a cheerleader taught me how important it is to have folks rooting for you.

Now, firmly in middle-age, I’ve returned to these cheerleading roots as a way to appreciate myself. Writers are so good at getting down on themselves—there is always another rejection, a peer whose work you consider on par with your own receives the award you both applied to, How can you appreciate yourself? Be your cheerleader.

Rather than waiting for others’ approval of your work, give it to yourself.

  • Try and take note of the good. Consider keeping a gratitude journal that highlights the fan letter you received or the glowing compliment from a peer on how you described your character in a recent submission.

  • When your mind begins to go off the deep end of negativity, repeat a buzz word or phrase to recenter you. For instance, I have a little rock a friend gave me with the word TRUST painted on the front. Sometimes that word alone can right me.

  • Surround yourself with support. Your dog, your girlfriends, your college roommate—these are the kinds of folks who know you outside your writing life, and that should not be underestimated.

  • Treat yourself. Brownie? Check. Good tea? Check? Remember that you work hard and you deserve to be treated kindly—be this for yourself.

  • Lastly, try not to compare. There will always be another writer whose accomplishments overshadow yours. Work on celebrating your own successes by noticing what YOU do—only you. Pick up those pom-poms and start honoring yourself, one cheer at a time.